Journalist

Few days ago I felt something went wrong in my life and failed to tell what it was. Unfortunately I thought it’s about the girl I knew two months ago, so I made up my mind to break up with her tonight. It is a tragic I have to admit, but an inevitable coming result to face eventually. Several days passed and I had been considering ending up the relationship which perplexed me seriously as a mental torture I’ve experienced for many times already. I have no idea why I made this decision, and sometimes it backfires on me, like eating me up. In this relationship I was fading, and start to forget things, like what I treasure very much. In fact, our relationship was fading, turning colorless, and passionless that really suffer me. What I can’t endure is fading in my life.

She will loathe me for sure. Yet an ironic sentence just pop-up in my mind, “someone hurt by me, as I am hurt by someone.” It’s out of my ability to banish the contingence, perhaps the hatred in my heart will hurt her in the end. I know too much hating in my heart and my passage is unclear coz I’m trapped in an age long maze existed inside me long time ago. I feel very sick of this as if there are many blinds in my brain, and this put me in depression again. However, it’s not completely related to this break-up incident; the sorrow is directed to my physical problem mostly.

You know…I always think that I’m used to destroy a part of my self to push me forward, thought so hurt it is, but very effective.

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