英語文章
A Civilized Creature
On 21, Nov 2011 | One Comment | In 日常 | By admin
Anxieties always come from within. I would never felt that I am an exact perfectionist except when I am in trouble emotionally. Every time it begins with some tiny things. for instance, even a wrong step in an assignment could bring great depression and frustration. Things you can’t change in past never go away if you never let them go consciously. The mental disorder are always based on yesterday, the things you can’t change. Even it could be so tiny. Read more…
Bowling for Columbine: the gun and the fear
On 23, Oct 2011 | No Comments | In 影視, 社評 | By admin
I saw Bowling for Columbine yesterday night which is a great inspiration to me. It is about the Columbine high school massacre in 1999. Read more…
May be the last post
On 24, Jul 2011 | 22 Comments | In 日常 | By admin
I feel that I was a old man. I feel that my power is been taking away. I am way to early to become this old and weak, its like I have no desire to do anything. I am totally desperate and hopeless. Read more…
We are the champions
On 01, Mar 2011 | 3 Comments | In 日常, 音樂 | By admin
no prof-reading
A song or a single page of a book can totally save your soul. I mean those tiny stuff could amazingly, strangely makes your heart better. In my case, my muse is the song “We Are The Champions” from Queen. It somehow pull me out of the melancholic shadow that have troubled me for a while. Everyone is familiar with this song. Perhaps this song is one of the most famous song in musical history among others like “Imagine” by John Lennon or bunch of songs by David Bowie.
I had a really hard time. I once felt that don’t want to live anymore for the first time. It was totally emotional. I was miserable for everything. Lots of pressures keep torturing me. I can’t sleep well for days, stomach was in bad condition all day long. Living such a life is not easy. Maybe I should admit that I am a pessimistic person. I don’t believe in any idea that could get me in a ordinary good life like Christianity. I work so hard but I in fact don’t get any point of being good except it could make your family happy and get you OK SALARY to become a SLAVERY simultaneously. The more I work hard, the more I feel lost. You can be very happy if you keep doing something you don’t really believe it. The past few months I did nothing but trying hard ignoring the ideas of committing suicide. I don’t want to give up all I have been doing.
Back to the song. Sport games frequently used the song for celebrating, yet, I found that the song is not so optimistic. Indeed the piano opening is strongly sad and solemn.That most recognized chorus blows in your mind which is full of pride. The song for me is not optimistic. It’s a song about strugglers, about people who struggles a lot in the world. The singer were bravely shouting something artistically complex. Strangely I felt sad, warm and released while listening the song. Yes, it was unexplainable like the depression comes for no reason.
I know a girl
On 22, Jan 2011 | One Comment | In 日常 | By admin
* no prof-reading
As you know, I have always been struggling with myself. The condition becomes more and more serious reflecting on the disorder of the stomach. It is definitely caused by pressure and anxiety. Honestly I have always been a arrogant person, I am proud of myself. Therefore, there is where the high self-expectation and pressure come from. Without doubt, sensitive people suffer a lot more than anybody. Your heart get hurt a lot more and difficult to be healed. Time flies, your soul become spiritually heavily and the low never go. A kind of people always keep their mind flesh. The more they become cleverer, the more they suffer.
I know a girl who are just two years older than me. She is very tough, at least in my view. She seems live her life with great effort all the time. I feel that I sucks in front of this girl. I am emotionally weak, worst than anybody I know. She said she is weak too, always. She is the toughest one I have ever met, who live in America working and studying by her own.
We did meet few times and we talked, which were very memorable I found. Sometimes you could recognize a person who will be deeply known by just a little conversation. Someone you know, who will not always be with you but know you a lot and hold a part of your soul. Every time I lost in shadows of melancholy, I think of her. I desire her toughness and the way she lives.
Previously
On 14, Oct 2010 | No Comments | In 日常 | By admin
Novel I have done previously somehow recorded my hard time. i did that when experiencing a relationship-crisis though the story is not related to anything personal. Read more…
Terrible July
On 10, Jul 2010 | No Comments | In 日常 | By admin
I was in a terrible nightmare in July. I am sure that there is nothing troubling me in reality. Sometimes things just happen and it’s the way it is. I have been trying to stop taking the pill that i have been taking. I frequently tried and I failed every time. The pill undoubtedly helps me to live with the mental sickness, but it feels bad on the other hand. I hate to be controlled by something or somebody, even the pill does help me a lot, makes me live like a perfectly healthy guy. The side effect is hard which i will never tell you how bad it is. The reason why I was in the nightmare is I have stopped taking the pill for a month. The action makes me cannot sleep well and feeling faint. I hate to be tired all day long. The war between pills and my willpower is still on the fire, probably it will last for good.
The newest novel once was also my second nightmare. Fortunately it’s been done. Lately I teed to write short novels because it’s smaller burden to my health, moreover I have no leisure a novelist should have.
This one is a long-length one. The longest writting progress almost drived me mad. The story background, again, is set on ancient china, the Tang Dynasty. I admit that I have heavily influenced by historic stuff lately. Sometimes re-visiting your mother culture is worth doing. It gives me uncountable new thoughts. The newest novel is about to be updated. I promise that my novels are definitely better than my blog posts.
image taken by me and sorry for the grammatical mistakes i haven’t noticed.
There is no democratic development
On 30, May 2010 | No Comments | In 社評 | By admin
I don’t see there is any democratic development in Hong Kong. The problem is the chilly people. Although the Chief Executive and his officials have been promoting the proposal which is definitely shit as i said, the biggest problem we got here is people even don’t know what the proposal is about. Read more…
Cats
On 23, Apr 2010 | No Comments | In 日常, 隨拍 | By admin
The place I have been living in is a comfortable space, so do the cats. There are many cats living in taiwai, no matter they are stray stray cats or pats. I observed that shop owners like to raise cat. Perhaps cat is been treated as mascot helping their business goes well. Read more…
Hell is in your mind
On 10, Apr 2010 | 3 Comments | In 日常 | By admin
I never believe that there is a Hell where god is used to burn and trap us. I always feel that Hell is in my mind, in my soul and also my cell. When you are in a great sickness, Hell is where you are experiencing. Consciousness is always a battlefield for human beings. Read more…
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