尼采．虛無．以及活著

有好一段時間不在這裡，其實我並沒有死，依然人模人樣的活著。其實活下去並不困難。在怎樣的困難中我亦從不想去自殺。但是，靠自己的力量去「活得好」卻不是一件易事。如果說尼采是一個哲學家的同時亦是一個預言家——無論他是有心為之或是無心插柳，他理論中的其一核心預言我們這個世代的困局。 Read more…

Tags | 哲學

Previously

Novel I have done previously somehow recorded my hard time. i did that when experiencing a relationship-crisis though the story is not related to anything personal. Read more…

Tags | 英語文章, 身體疾病

搬屋記——地產之城

整個夏天，忙著搬屋的事。上一次搬屋時是小學時代，東西都是其他人料理、記憶也很迷糊，也不知道搬屋對身對心原來是那麼折騰。最折騰的是等人睇樓、睇人的樓，一買一賣所花的精神時間。還有收拾舊屋的東西、入箱之類。即使重物搬運都是大隻佬們包辦，但總也有許多個人物資要親自動手。搬屋這件事累到不得了。 Read more…

Tags | 地產

Path of creating

I am not good at writing about my stuff. I was used to spit my emotion by writing when I was a teenage boy. Although I have lost the ability to do so. Several novels have been written in months, which are longer than my previous works. Read more…

Tags | 寫作事務, 身體疾病

Terrible July

I was in a terrible nightmare in July. I am sure that there is nothing troubling me in reality. Sometimes things just happen and it’s the way it is. I have been trying to stop taking the pill that i have been taking. I frequently tried and I failed every time. The pill undoubtedly helps me to live with the mental sickness, but it feels bad on the other hand. I hate to be controlled by something or somebody, even the pill does help me a lot, makes me live like a perfectly healthy guy. The side effect is hard which i will never tell you how bad it is. The reason why I was in the nightmare is I have stopped taking the pill for a month. The action makes me cannot sleep well and feeling faint. I hate to be tired all day long. The war between pills and my willpower is still on the fire, probably it will last for good.

The newest novel once was also my second nightmare. Fortunately it’s been done. Lately I teed to write short novels because it’s smaller burden to my health, moreover I have no leisure a novelist should have.

This one is a long-length one. The longest writting progress almost drived me mad. The story background, again, is set on ancient china, the Tang Dynasty. I admit that I have heavily influenced by historic stuff lately. Sometimes re-visiting your mother culture is worth doing. It gives me uncountable new thoughts. The newest novel is about to be updated. I promise that my novels are definitely better than my blog posts.

image taken by me and sorry for the grammatical mistakes i haven’t noticed.

Tags | 英語文章, 身體疾病

苦之道

我害怕窮。這很奇怪。其實嚴格來說，我未嘗過真正的窮。我沒試過像街上的阿婆阿伯那樣拾紙皮、像新移民、南亞人士那樣躺籠屋，但我確實時常害怕自己落入貧窮。荀子說：「若夫目好色，耳好聽，口好味，心好利，骨體膚理好愉佚，是皆生於人之情性者也」只是一種對人性的觀察。 Read more…

Tags | 佛學, 身體疾病

自畫像

他表面謙遜、畢恭畢敬，但實質上驕傲自大到不得了，對森羅萬象滿滿的分別心、恃才傲物，卻又因此覺得很寂寞，非常矛盾。他害怕寂寞，又討厭待在人群中、憎恨旁人廉價的關心——所以他死了也是應該的。對別人的傲慢，他盡量收起。在日常生活裡，他很少表露好惡，但實際上你每一個動作他都看在眼裡，心中並對你打了一個分數。 Read more…

Tags | 人物, 關於堂主

Cats

The place I have been living in is a comfortable space, so do the cats. There are many cats living in taiwai, no matter they are stray stray cats or pats. I observed that shop owners like to raise cat. Perhaps cat is been treated as mascot helping their business goes well. Read more…

Tags | 動物, 英語文章

凡人

山水天地、飛禽走獸，謂之自然。一切自然的面向，都有一種曠古的和諧。像一台自古以來運作暢順的機器。街上的貓、枝上的鳥，吃喝進睡生育以外，像不曾有過精神的矛盾鬥爭、感傷悵惘。牠們的身姿是平常的，平靜得雖是血肉之軀、卻又不像血肉之軀。 Read more…

Tags | 憂鬱症

Hell is in your mind

I never believe that there is a Hell where god is used to burn and trap us. I always feel that Hell is in my mind, in my soul and also my cell. When you are in a great sickness, Hell is where you are experiencing. Consciousness is always a battlefield for human beings. Read more…

Tags | 憂鬱症, 英語文章, 身體疾病