不快樂就讓它不快樂

很久沒寫東西。幾個月來都沒有真正用心寫過甚麼。忙的同時，心情也一直如特首的民望一樣總在低谷。忙是忙。六月三十日放榜，前一晚依樣睡不著，也沒有心機做任何事。早上回學校拿成續，比想像中要好，有兩個B一個C。之後還閑不下來，又要調大學志願，七一又要遊行。這個時候放榜，有人講笑說這是教統局的陰謀，讓熱血的學生沒閑熱血。 Read more…

Tags | 憂鬱症, 教育

吃在藏戶

這間吃日本菜的店子性價比十分好。有一個list為半價食物，每道菜也只是十多元至三十多元，酒也是十多元一杯，都挺好吃。而且環境令你完全不覺得自己在旺角吃東西。

藏戶概念館 Kulako Japan Concept Food

Tags | 食物

雜念

焦慮完了，便到憂鬱。情況十分嚴重。

我正在寫一部中篇的小說。這是我鬱積計劃了幾個月來的一篇。 Read more…

Tags | 憂鬱症, 身體疾病

We are the champions

no prof-reading

A song or a single page of a book can totally save your soul. I mean those tiny stuff could amazingly, strangely makes your heart better. In my case, my muse is the song “We Are The Champions” from Queen. It somehow pull me out of the melancholic shadow that have troubled me for a while. Everyone is familiar with this song. Perhaps this song is one of the most famous song in musical history among others like “Imagine” by John Lennon or bunch of songs by David Bowie.

I had a really hard time. I once felt that don’t want to live anymore for the first time. It was totally emotional. I was miserable for everything. Lots of pressures keep torturing me. I can’t sleep well for days, stomach was in bad condition all day long. Living such a life is not easy. Maybe I should admit that I am a pessimistic person. I don’t believe in any idea that could get me in a ordinary good life like Christianity. I work so hard but I in fact don’t get any point of being good except it could make your family happy and get you OK SALARY to become a SLAVERY simultaneously. The more I work hard, the more I feel lost. You can be very happy if you keep doing something you don’t really believe it. The past few months I did nothing but trying hard ignoring the ideas of committing suicide. I don’t want to give up all I have been doing.

Back to the song. Sport games frequently used the song for celebrating, yet, I found that the song is not so optimistic. Indeed the piano opening is strongly sad and solemn.That most recognized chorus blows in your mind which is full of pride. The song for me is not optimistic. It’s a song about strugglers, about people who struggles a lot in the world. The singer were bravely shouting something artistically complex. Strangely I felt sad, warm and released while listening the song. Yes, it was unexplainable like the depression comes for no reason.

Tags | 憂鬱症, 聽歌, 英語文章

寫字這回事

自小懂得閱讀以後，讀的多也是翻釋小說。小時候只讀翻釋小說的害處，在以後寫東西的時候表露無遺。只讀翻譯小說的人，大多不懂造句子。字句冗長、結構累贅，怎麼讀怎麼唸都是不靈不巧。因為自小涉獵的都是翻譯的文章，又不讀古文，落得滿篇整章都是沙石。 Read more…

願作野鶴遊

不知不覺，又長了一歲。正日生日剛好落在大年初一。除了利是錢，我討厭新年，側目於故作高興、鋪張浪費的習俗。特別是焦慮和憂鬱如影隨形，見著大紅大綠就更沒有心情。 Read more…

Tags | 憂鬱症, 生日, 身體疾病

I know a girl

* no prof-reading

As you know, I have always been struggling with myself. The condition becomes more and more serious reflecting on the disorder of the stomach. It is definitely caused by pressure and anxiety. Honestly I have always been a arrogant person, I am proud of myself. Therefore, there is where the high self-expectation and pressure come from. Without doubt, sensitive people suffer a lot more than anybody. Your heart get hurt a lot more and difficult to be healed. Time flies, your soul become spiritually heavily and the low never go. A kind of people always keep their mind flesh. The more they become cleverer, the more they suffer.

I know a girl who are just two years older than me. She is very tough, at least in my view. She seems live her life with great effort all the time. I feel that I sucks in front of this girl. I am emotionally weak, worst than anybody I know. She said she is weak too, always. She is the toughest one I have ever met, who live in America working and studying by her own.

We did meet few times and we talked, which were very memorable I found. Sometimes you could recognize a person who will be deeply known by just a little conversation. Someone you know, who will not always be with you but know you a lot and hold a part of your soul. Every time I lost in shadows of melancholy, I think of her. I desire her toughness and the way she lives.

Tags | 憂鬱症, 英語文章, 身體疾病

不語似無愁

少年維特有他的煩惱，而凡間的少女也有無盡的慘情。一般來說，女人比男人要情緒化，而年輕的比年長的人要「看不開」，但少女的悲傷總是說得出來的，這也是上天最大的祝福。

最典型的遭遇是遇人不淑，失了戀，之後大哭幾場，朋友輪流安撫，聽她的傾訴，傷感一頭半個月又重新活過來。說得出來的是情緒，是健康的，說不出來的才叫作鬱結，一旦在人的意識裡落地生根，便是千頭萬緒，成了個思想上的習慣，掉進了輪迥走不出來。 Read more…

Tags | 憂鬱症

成續表的評語

最近在整理從小到大的成續表。所謂成續表的評語都似乎是班主任的行貨，一班四十個人班主任又怎能認識你多少。不過我看著那些評語也覺得挺有趣的，也有一定的參考性。 Read more…

扔掉理智，擁抱幻覺

在哪個時代，社會和大眾從來都沒有因為思慮太多、太過理智而出亂子。時代的問題總是大眾的沉睡，而不是太多意見。那些「自覺為人」的人，不是成為天才便是成為瘋子。願意用靈魂視物的人，幾乎都沒甚麼好收場。所以他們總是獨個兒振臂大呼：「扔掉理智﹗」老子的原始主義，絕聖棄智、絕仁絕義。不需要精神提升，不需要成為聖人。因為精神境界根本是無底深淵。文明和理智都是毒藥。 Read more…

Tags | 哲學