The Chaotic Consciousness

It’s hard to write down something in this status, even i really want to have some recent posts on my blog. It seems a dead person and so does my heart too. Recently I want to close it down, and let it falls as a decayed empire. The situation is quiet unclear and actually I can say nothing now, it is such a withering state for me. I opened a note and there was nothing out from my brain as if it is absolutely empty.

Obviously I am writing something now as you can see, but its really hard to tell what’s going on. I talked about my inner condition before and at the beginning of September I was really concentrate on my conscious. Moreover, I felt really good in daily life as if the sickness is fully recovered or all the infinite pains I experienced before are just my dreams. Now the illusion is gone, and my conscious is tainted again. I have been suffering from depression and the undescribable tiredness, and I suspect that tiredness comes from the depression, because it is quiet violent and also last for too long.

Furthermore, I nearly not read newspaper and even rss feed which i usually read as my habit. As we know the National Day is coming, pro Beijing people and liberal people predictably have been challenging each other with so many mainland political issues. In the past I also think and write something like those liberal people, such as why we should not celebrate the National Days blah blah blah, yes I know, but now its quiet repetitive for me. There are so much doubts in my heart with those big questions, so I cant simply write my opinion about it nowadays. Its a regression or an improvement? Finally I should say: I wont speak too much now, I am keep watching the world still, untill I can be back and say something again.

Tags | 憂鬱症, 英語文章, 身體疾病